So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize