thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize