so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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