she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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