okay pat passed out under dana's car
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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