Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?

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  (503): Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes? http://tfl.nu/o6hc
  Replies (7) Good night (2837) Bad night (441) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them

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  (704): i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them http://tfl.nu/p2ze
  Replies (2) Good night (535) Bad night (1993) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now

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  (256): every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now http://tfl.nu/b8d3
  Replies (21) Good night (694) Bad night (2455) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.

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  (360): While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever. http://tfl.nu/mdyd
  Replies (16) Good night (6380) Bad night (631) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"

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  (515): I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson" http://tfl.nu/itij
  Replies (11) Good night (7507) Bad night (863) Order T-Shirt
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  (626): View more from California

  I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.

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  (626): I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well. http://tfl.nu/o4bp
  Replies (16) Good night (1009) Bad night (2256) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire

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  (419): On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire http://tfl.nu/uiq5
  Replies (4) Good night (1123) Bad night (1014) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.

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  (678): All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know. http://tfl.nu/jvfd
  Replies (6) Good night (1143) Bad night (872)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?

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  (513): I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out? http://tfl.nu/sosx
  Replies (6) Good night (1345) Bad night (1060) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood

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  (+61): we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood http://tfl.nu/ba4y
  Replies (4) Good night (1103) Bad night (343) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.

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  (814): My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed. http://tfl.nu/4uwe
  Replies (7) Good night (2388) Bad night (851) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man

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  (832): Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man http://tfl.nu/dtih
  Replies (7) Good night (452) Bad night (993) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud

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  (216): Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud http://tfl.nu/kyzh
  Replies (3) Good night (1229) Bad night (246) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.

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  (901): I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad. http://tfl.nu/k439
  Replies (2) Good night (671) Bad night (312) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.

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  (248): I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA. http://tfl.nu/2xdx
  Replies (8) Good night (290) Bad night (623) Order T-Shirt

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