You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
