I murdered the dance floor call the cops
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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