I cockslap morals
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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