Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize