I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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