A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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