Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize