I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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