I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
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i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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