This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
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I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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