Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
look no pants
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize