hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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