We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
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I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
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Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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