I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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