If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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