spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize