Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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