Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
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Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
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You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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