I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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