i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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