I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My life is pants optional.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize