His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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