And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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