There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize