Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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