I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize