My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
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As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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