Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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