I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize