I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize