He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
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