So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize