at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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