I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
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You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
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I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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