What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize