Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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