ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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