I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
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Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
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Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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