we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize