I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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