He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize