Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
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If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
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Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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