whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize