Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize