Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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