A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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