theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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